The C Word

I hate the C word. Cancer. It’s such an ugly word. I looked up the definition and it says cancer is a malignant and invasive growth or tumor, esp. one originating in epithelium(a tissue composed of cells that line the cavities and surfaces of structures throughout the body.), tending to recur after excision and to metastasize(spread from one part of the body to another.) to other sites. Another definition that I find fitting is any evil condition or thing that spreads destructively. When someone gets cancer people try and say things to make you feel better like, “Oh they caught it early” or “It’s just a small cancer” or other such things. Like that will make up for the horrible feeling of knowing someone you love has a growth that is KILLING THEM! Even if you do catch it early it doesn’t change the fact that in some small way it is injuring the person and could be fatal if left untreated! Who cares if it’s just a small cancerous tumor? The fact is that it is STILL cancerous. If that’s not cause for being upset than I don’t know what is.
When someone you love gets any form of cancer it feels like a cannon ball to the stomach that wasn’t generous enough to kill you. Just maim you and leave you with recurring pain. Even when you are reassured by doctors, family, friends etc that everything will be ok, deep down in the back of your mind you wonder if it really will be ok. There’s always that chance that it won’t and your whole life will be changed forever. You picture how your life would be without that person and it makes you sick. You worry about all the things you’ve said and done and how it affected them. You want to do something but you don’t know what. You feel helpless. You want to be strong for them and show them that you are there for them and they can count on you. There are so many things that you want to do and say, but you can’t.

I'm such a Lame-O!

So I was looking at my blog and I realized I haven't blogged since MAy! What the Crap Jessica?! I'd like to say I've been really busy, but honestly not that busy. I've been really stressed, does that count? As most of you know I graduated in December, but since then not much has happened. I haven't been living up to my "potential". Jobs are scarce and according to my parents I haven't been trying hard enough. Maybe I haven't, but in all honesty, I'm kinda scared. But now it's down to the wire and I really need a job. Farmington schools are on a hiring freeze and others around San Juan County are scarce. I might have to be a full time substitute, but that doesn't have benefits which I need. Gosh soo many factors of stress in my life! It's agonizing! ARG!

But enough with the heavy stuff.

In other news, I'm a GinGER!!!! (that means I'm a redhead!)

Me and My Bestie Terra! We love us some Tie Dye!!!

Me and one of my best Guy friends Charlie Kerby(I call him Kerby) You might recognize my glasses and I have to tell you...they are now prescription! HOLLA!

Thanks for listening to my blathering rants! Loves y'all!

New Glasses

So I went to the Mall today and made a purchase. I saw some glasses and just HAD to have them! They aren't prescription or anything, but I LOVE them and I can totally rock them! HOLLA!

I'm such a dork...

MOre from Branson

SO I was cleaning my room and I found the bag that had all my touristy/souvenir stuff from our trip to Branson, Missouri. I've been meaning to scan/upload these pics because they are so fun. I really did have such a great time! Enjoy!



Mom, Dad and I at the Spirit of the Dance

Mom, Dad, TOnya and I at the wheel of the Titanic

Mom, Dad, Tonya and I at the Grand Staircase in the Titanic

Mom, Dad and I at the Hollywood Wax Museum(this is my fave picture!)

Branson, MIssouri!

So for Spring Break, my Parents and I went to Branson, MIssouri where they have some sort of timeshare( I don't really understand, but all I know is that we had a cute little cottage to stay in)Branson is sorta like a mini-Nashville. There are lots of shows and music to see. I was mainly excited to go to get away from work for a week(Gasp! I don't love to work? WHAT?) Well I had a flippin awesome time! I loved spending time with my parents, because when I work, I get really busy and rarely see them. It was just the 3 of us for the first couple days. Then on Wednesday, my sister Tonya who lives in Manhattan Kansas drove out to meet us. Then on Thursday my other sister Nancy and her 2 boys Andrew,9 and Adam, 7 came to meet us as well. Her husband and daughter Aubrey had to stay in Des Moines, Iowa because Aubrey had a school project. We sure missed them. But it was nice to see the family that lives further away and we don't get to see as much.

We had so much fun going to see shows and going to fun restaurants. We went to a restaurant where they throw the rolls at you and you have to catch them! I also discovered this little diner where the servers sing. They have a Karaoke machine and just walk around singing while taking orders and serving food and stuff. LOVED IT!(Secretly I wish I could work there. If they had a place like that in Farmington!)

We also went to this little country amusement park called, Silver Dollar City which was so much fun. WHile going to all the shows and attractions in Branson, I had more fun just being with my family. SOme nights we just stayed in and ate dinner at the cottage and watched movies. I love my family andI'm so glad I got to catch up with them!

At the Worlds Largest Toy Museum with all the BARBIES!

Being Raptors at this really cool Miniature Golf with my sisters Nancy and Tonya

In Jail with my Nephews Andrew and Adam at Silver Dollar City

Random Pink Gorilla on the side of the road that I HAD to have a picture with

Outside the CLubhouse where we check in for the cottage with my Mom and Dad

Update on Life

Well lets see what has changed in my life

1) I graduated from College. Bachelors of Arts in Elementary Education

2) I moved home to Farmington to be with my family (and I hated Deming)

3) I was a bum with no job for like a month

4) I got a job as a Floater Teacher(gives other teachers breaks) at the Hospital Daycare

5)I received callings in my Singles Ward (Ward Chorister and Relief Society Teacher

6) And most recently (Last night) I dyed my hair red. Like Dark red, it's real subtle and doesn't really show up in pictures.

Thats all I can think of right now, so adios my blogfriends!

A return to my Blog

I know it's been a while since I blogged, but lots of stuff has happened. I graduated college. That in and of itself is a HUGE thing! Holla! I moved home to Farmington so that I could be closer to my family and friends and maybe find a job. Well I'm not able to find a job or even apply for a teaching job till I have my degree, which won't be sent to me till February. So I was mooching off my parents and babysitting alot to get by. But now, I found a job. I got a job working at the hospital daycare. I've worked there before so I know alot of the people there and I've always loved working with kids. It's just a temporary job till I find a real teaching job which probably won't be till August. But it totally works for me.

I love being home with my Family and Friends. I believe I'm supposed to be in Farmington. I feel at home here. Alot of people might disagree with me, but I love it here.