Friday, January 2, 2009

AHHHHHH!!!

So its the night before I'm supposed to go to Deming to start my student teaching and I'm not even close to being done packing. My room is just a complete mess! But what am I doing? I'm sitting here, at the computer, instead of in there, in my room;packing.

I'm holding off on the packing because right now I am just really scared. Scared? of what? Of EVERYTHING! that's what. My whole life is changing and it rides on this semester. Student teaching isn't like real school. I'm going to be the one doing the teaching, not the one being taught! Do you want your children to be taught by me?!(Please say yes, because I hope I will be a good teacher)

I'm just scared of leaving Farmington. I'm totally unprepared. I have so many SHould haves in my life and I could just kick my butt for it. I still have a bunch of classes I have to take and I'm not sure I'm totally prepared for graduation in May. I have a plan in my head, but I'm not sure it will work out that way.

Plus I have so much to do-by way of packing I mean. My room looks like a disaster zone and I don't have enough time to do everything I need to do. ONe of my biggest fears in life is dissapointing my parents(Which they've told me mulitple times that I DONT) I'm afraid if I mess up this semester, they really WILL be dissapointed in me, and that scares the S*** out of me(Pardon my french(Is S*** really french anyways) OH whatever)

And to add to my list of stress makers. My freakin Kidney stone has STILL not come out. Yes folks, Excrucia, has still not made an appearance. I'm afraid I'm going to be on the side of the road crying in a horrible rest stop bathroom. But what if I don't even make it to a rest stop?! What if I have to stop on the side of the road! Oh the agony!!

Well, I've got to go finish packing...and crying. I can do both at the same time